Archive for washington post
Sent to me via email by a writer/friend:
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
All in a few days, Articles of Impeachment are filed against our president and buried; Ron Paul removes himself from the Presidential Race; the GOP is regretting it pre-selected McCain; the global bankers are tenderly advising us that a global depression is forthcoming that ‘they just couldn’t foresee’ and our unimpeached President issues YET ANOTHER unconstitutional executive order- this time to force us all to give over total biometric, financial, health, and virtually EVERY OTHER FORM OF INFORMATION ABOUT US into a biometric, implantable chip.
Couldn’t just be coincidence, could it?
The biometric data will include:
Biometric technologies use electronic means to capture individual-specific data on physical characteristics, including fingerprints, eye retina scanning, face recognition mapping and body imaging…
The contextual data that accompanies biometric data includes information on date and place of birth, citizenship, current address and address history, current employment and employment history, current phone numbers and phone number history, use of government services and tax filings.
Other contextual data may include bank account and credit card histories, plus criminal database records on a local, state and federal level. The database also could include legal judgments or other public records documenting involvement in legal disputes, child custody records and marriage or divorce records.
This is certainly the path to a global or regional currency outside of the American dollar, and a means by which control of all Americans will be gained.
Truckloads of information, much of which was never broadly available before without your knowledge, or you providing it yourself, such as histories, legal disputes, CUSTODY records.
If it looks like McCain will lose, and there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to think he can win without Diebold’s help, we may very well be looking at the first time that American governance did NOT change hands during the proper election cycle.
Therefore, all the biometric data (hailed as a great medical good) which includes your personal history, who your family members are, what you own, what areas your life may not be ‘legally perfect’ – all put into the hands of multiple, global government agencies and financial institutions, provides all kinds of means by which you can be controlled- through threats against the safety of your family, through late child-support payments, through failing to license your dog!
Impeaching Bush? Well either the Washington Post AND Dana Milbank are utterly incompetent and should be driven out of business on a rail, or their complaint that Cheney would then become the President is another media whitewash. Those particular impeachment articles have been sitting in the so-called ‘judiciary committee’ for ages- all that’s needed is to blow off the dust and rid America of BOTH traitors.
No, the puppet-masters don’t want us to win this battle, and they’re using every nasty trick in the book to keep us from it.
It will be the battle from the maws of hell but, as Galadriel told Frodo, “Even the smallest person can make a difference.”
We shall see, won’t we?